Do You Actually Know Your Authentic Self?
More and more I hear people speaking about finding and being your “authentic self.” I think that’s a very promising and idealistic approach to taking on life that can often lead to a happy ending. Over the last 5 years I’ve seen many influencers on YouTube promote video clips from speaking engagements encouraging us to buy their books, listen to their podcasts, and like, share, and subscribe to their social media pages. In truth, I’m not too much different, right? I have a perspective; I want to share it with the world; and I hope others internalize it and then pay it forward. But what concerns me is that while many others sort of lessen the blow by asking us to find our authentic self so that our lives can automatically be better and more fulfilled, there is a question that belies that statement that I don’t think is asked nearly enough. And that question is “Do you actually know who your authentic self is?” And that question is rarely an easy one to answer.
I know I’ve been saying this a lot recently, that many and much of what we believe has been handed down to us. They’ve been handed down by our parents, by our communities, by our religious leaders, our society, and by our culture. There is a lot to be said about one’s past experiences. Past experiences in many cases develop our personality. Our personality is also largely dependent on our habits, or at least things that eventually become our habits. Let’s look a little deeper. Our behaviors are often manifestations of us developing the mechanisms to “fit in” or to avoid being rejected. They are developments of our fight or flight responses, things we do to protect ourselves or what we do to try and fit the mold of someone else’s expectations. The longer we carry these things, the more likely that they eventually will stop feeling like something we’ve learned along the way or small habits we’ve picked up. They start to feel like they are us.
In my worldly experiences, I like to think I’ve learned a thing or two. And regarding authenticity, I am finding that it is less about what feels right or feels natural. Because if you truly are picking up new traits from repetitive experiences, that aligns more with what feels familiar, not authentic. And for me, they are not the same thing. There is an important distinction there. It’s here where mindfulness and awareness become significant factors in the quest to help find your true voice, your true personality, your authentic self.
Neither Kind Rebirths as a brand nor I as just a regular person are interested in telling you who or what you should become. This is truly a journey of self-discovery. My invitation, however, is not as loud or ostentatious. Consider noticing yourself. And by that, I mean, notice what things bring you closer to peace rather than what makes you anxious. Notice the decisions you make. See if they align with the things you have grown to value rather than something used to satisfy the expectations of something else. When you start offering your opinions or hear those from others, notice which ones you start to gravitate to internally and not so much on the surface. Notice the ones your heart tells you to defend.
It’s been a while since I dropped one of my Uncomfortable Truths, so here you go. People tell you to do what makes you happy, but I don’t know if that will take you where you want to end up in the long run. Let awareness lead you. And overtime, that awareness is helpful in learning what things belong to you and are meant for you. Because much of what we cling to and what we attach to ourselves are simply things we’ve gathered along the way mindlessly. Let mindful awareness help build your clarity.
Before I let you all go, remember this too. You don’t need to reinvent yourself to be authentic, right? And it’s certainly not about creating new identities either. Let your authenticity shine from becoming quiet enough to recognize the “you” underneath all the noise of distraction and the hype of being an authentic person. In order to be you, we all need to consider who we actually are. Finding that person is a moment of recognition and rebirth.
Stay mindful…
Rebirth
