Emotional Intelligence in Today’s Culture

Emotional intelligence is definitely one of the buzz words and phrases that have emerged in mainstream conversation recently over the last couple of years. I’m seeing more and more of its use in seminars on leadership, on social media posts and video shorts, and certainly with regard to relationships and relationship therapy. While it has gained popularity and praised as a sign of an individual maturing, it, like other things, has started landing in performative spaces. But beneath the buzzword hype, emotional intelligence exists as something integral and very essential in our day-to-day lives.

With emotional intelligence, at the core is the ability to see what’s going on inside of you without being completely caught up with it, to not be completely consumed. If you recall from one of my other posts (which is relevant here), emotions arise and enter within, but how we choose to address it, manage it, and release it, is what we use in deciding how we respond. So as we mature, we learn to accept, reflect, and then we release it without judgement. So, in today’s culture, capacity is an increasing concern, more so than ever before.

Since we live in a world of auto-response, autopilot, and on-demand, we formulate automatic opinions immediately without contemplation and our response is made in public, gone viral, to keep with the tech and pop culture terminology. So, for example, when we are consumed (emotions are high) and the fuse to respond is short (the response is waiting to unload), these are the 2 primary ingredients in creating a stick of dynamite. Emotions amplify in a second. This is where emotional intelligence steps in. It helps usher in calm. It helps increase mindful awareness.

To be emotionally intelligent in the Kind Rebirth space does not mean to suppress or repress emotions. Suppression disconnects. We should seek and find ways of integrating emotions but remain cautious. We do not welcome them in to control us, only to inform us.

Also in the KR space, we use emotional intelligence as a moment to break and to pause. I had to learn to step back and ask myself in my own situations, “What am I feeling?” and then, “What am I actually feeling?” I spent a lot of time thinking about pride and humility in my readings over the last 15 years and pride is a misleading trait. In short, pride has a noticeably big mouth and is very loud and often speaks out of turn. Pride overtalks clarity in many instances creating certainty when situations are dubious. In other words, we respond out of pride without always having all the important information needed to make an informed decision.

Emotional intelligence here is also not about the appearance of being evolved. It’s not a race and it’s not a demonstration of success. It’s humility in action and a practice of attentiveness and attention. I try to witness what may arise in order to return to a place of balance. Managing the complex dynamics of your own make-up humbly when facing the complex nature of the things that challenges us is a task that needs level-footing to manage. It doesn’t make us weak; it’s a grounded awareness. To further, in this humility we present, we see that we cannot have every answer despite taking the pause or the steps backward to reflect. That’s the joy and pain of living in an unpredictable world. While we have been shaped and crafted by our own history of experience in our individual lives, we have to leave room for a little curiosity instead of forcing assumptions on to it.

How I see emotional intelligence shouldn’t be too counterculture. Kind Rebirths wants to focus on pacing and attentiveness, not speed and action. Reflection is a revered response and understands that being intense does not equate to going deep. Ultimately, emotional intelligence is the ability to remain present with your emotions without abandoning yourself or harming others. In a life that’s already crazy enough, I choose peace and clarity over chaos and impulse for my rebirth. What do you choose?

Stay Mindful.

Rebirth