How to Be Present with Your Emotions Instead of Running from Them

We live in a complex world that teaches us to avoid our emotions. One that teaches us to “get over it,” “get through it,” or “don’t worry about it.” From a society that preaches that tears are signs of weakness or that fear is something to silence, our natural responses have taught us how to shut down or numb our feelings to experiences. Even when we are exhausted, there is an antithetical response that has been socialized into our normal lives.

Despite what those individuals think, our emotions don’t simply disappear because we avoid them. No, they wait. They settle deep into our body and into our minds and then into our subconscious. Later, when they decide to reappear, they manifest as anxiety, tension, worry, irritation, and unhappiness. So, what is the lesson here? Avoiding emotions doesn’t magically make them disappear, just the opposite. They grow and they accumulate.

It's here we have a choice. We can choose to remain heading in that direction, or we can choose a path of presence and awareness. We can become present in our emotions without learning to succumb to them. We can stay cognizant of their existence while not choosing to drown ourselves in them. We can meet them honestly and without judgment eliminating our fear because we have entertained the idea of a mindful experience of them.

When an emotion arises, your body is the emissary. It feels like a chemical reaction in your body even before your body has a chance to label it. For example, anger warms your core and then turns into heat. Anxiety is often felt in the chest, in the back, in the shoulders, and the neck. When we are sad, we tend to feel lumps in our throats. Disappointment settles in your stomach. But the body is poised to respond. Inviting mindfulness lets you watch and observe these sensations and feelings with curiosity instead of apprehension.

To understand your emotions, try to trace their origin. Ask yourself what you are feeling, where the feeling is showing up or manifesting in your body, and is this feeling trying to communicate with me and show me something. Understanding your emotions keeps you from the temptation of suppressing them thoughtlessly and carelessly. This is a powerful rebirthing stance to take. It is a shift, yet another transformation opportunity.

After understanding, permit yourself a little grace. Allow the emotion to breathe briefly. After all, it is a natural response and reaction and nothing to be ashamed of having. If you need some time to gather yourself or meditate or to cry, so be it. Allowing an emotion to happen doesn’t mean you have to accept it nor carry it with you forever. It means you have ceased to deny its existence and accept the reality of your experience with it. Now, instead of negating it or renouncing its occurrence, the voice inside confirms and validates that you feeling a certain way is okay. Feeling that way is rational and acceptable because when it’s all said and done, we are human first. Providing this level of attention (not attachment) gives the emotion the space and the walkway to pass through and exit more freely and with less obstruction.

As emotions pass through, their purpose was not without meaning. Emotions are messengers. By revealing unmet needs, wounds that have never healed, or experiences one has not yet processed and resolved, often disclose personal truths. Learning to listen here transforms your worst enemies into guides. The feeling of becoming overwhelmed subsides as you begin to extract meaning through mindful contemplation.

Using a mindfulness approach teaches you the power of breathing through your emotions and not around it. Using your breath bridges the spaces between your mind and body and allows you to feel and understand deeply who you absolutely are. In other words, you can watch emotional waves roll without having to become the emotion. Not every emotion needs to be fixed or corrected. Sometimes things just need to be felt. It doesn’t require the “figuring out part.” Just honor the inner experience gained and then the rebirth will naturally produce solutions that will feed the new prowess of presence. Then you can watch the healing growth occur. Remember, the goal is not to find perfection, sometimes it’s to incite emotional awareness.

Part of the meaning of the word “kind” in Kind Rebirths stands for a delicate and subtle, but intentional return to the inner part of your soul. The need to react rescinds and lends aid to the entrance of self- and outer reflection. You have opportunity to become more trusting of your emotional reserve and lessen the fear of having feelings. Instead of seeking to avoid situations of feelings, your ability to process consciously awakens and grows stronger and less passive.

Now that your rebirth has landed you and you are more grounded and stable because you reconciled the relationship with your own well-being, you can bring focus to other critical areas. Your presence of self, along with allowing yourself to feel, changes your relations with others. Channels of communication are opened. Boundaries are established and then set to develop your personal style and framework. And this is important. Kind Rebirths is not only a journey of transformation for the self, but also a song sung to blend with the melodies of others and all the rest of humanity.

Feelings and learning how to express them is not a weakness and it is not a flaw! Consider it as just one more of life’s gifts unseen and buried in life’s restrictive social conventions. And the more you experience your own self-guided transformation, I’ll bet your rebirth experience will feel more compelling. Set your limitations free.

Stay mindful…

Rebirth