Kind Rebirths and Social Deviance – Healing the Spaces that Break

I’ve been asked about this topic as it seems to be making national news, but for all the wrong reasons. If there is anything positive to come out of this, it has to be that now that it is at the forefront, we can speak intelligently to it. Hopefully, we can help those who struggle with it. While I am absolutely against the entire premise of those in power taking away the rights, the peace, and the freedom from those without it, wisdom tells me to let my personal feelings take a backseat for just a moment.

I, like the rest of the world, am watching the coverage of those who exhibited what I can only call predatory behavior. It’s not Kind Rebirths style to make social commentary or provide any fuel to feed either side. But an injustice is an injustice no matter how you shape it. We have to find a way extinguish these behaviors if we want to find peace and balance. But what of those predators? What do they deserve? Similarly, we don’t pass judgment in way that would allow us to serve as executioner. But again, living in this life, despite one’s proclivity to stay neutral, I encourage people to always take a stand when a stand needs to be made. We are strong enough to resolve our own individual karma after all the dust settles.

Seeing Beneath the Behavior

There are moments when we all fall short of grace or sometimes we may begin to drift outside the lines drawn by society. That drift can be subtle or monumental. They take hold of our attitudes and our actions causing us to withdraw from the humanity within our communities, local, national, and globally. When it’s loud, it’s usually very visible and definitely a disruption. In the sociological world, this is called social deviance. At Kind Rebirths, we tend to take a step back and take our ego and personal opinions out of the picture. We try to see things differently. We try to account for those lapses in judgment not labeling them as moral failures, but as emotional signals or messages – a message in the form of behaviors that are trying to be heard because it is part of a deeper story.

Most people, those who we consider “normal” don’t wake up in the morning with a desire to all of a sudden start breaking rules or violating normal social expectations. Their choices stem from soils that have been tainted by many negative traumas and experiences. And when those deeply rooted traumas aren’t addressed, let alone “healed”, it is a reflection of some sort of conflict wrestling with a resolution, or desire to be understood and/or corrected. While appearing and emerging as chaotic episodes, perhaps it’s a longing to be heard, longing for recognition, longing for a power in a life and world that has spun out of control or may be longing for freedom in a world that feels suffocating.

Before we move too far in assigning “blame” and begin placing labels, we need to consider the importance of sight from a Kind Rebirth perspective. When we start placing labels on actions and people, we have already completed the conversations before it has commenced. We have already distanced ourselves from understanding. We push those individuals away, further into the margins of shame making any connection almost impossible to reach. Their defiance and deviance potentially began from hurt. Rebellion probably emerged from silence. And that break from the morality of society may actually be a break from a version of themselves that they were not able to sustain.

Kind Rebirths is heaven-bent on healing and transformative change. We should consider instead of asking, “What’s wrong with you?” and personalize that question to, “What happened to you?” If we can accomplish starting there and asking those questions, the landscape changes immediately and drastically. It changes our approach to helpfulness from accusatory. This deviance we suspect that is being exhibited through atrocious behavior now becomes an open window to seeing what’s going on inside. Starting there is new opportunity to see those wounds and treat them with the proper care and compassion. Let’s reshape the environment if we want to replace the narrative.

Help Wanted: Communities are in Need

People who disrupt the norms in society may very well being trying to communicate, but they are not able to articulate their needs. Continual challenges to these norms, these individuals may be searching for the safe space to fully breathe without judgment and resentment. Deviance is fueled by lack of expression rather than inciting destruction. This is where a Kind Rebirth community matters. Remember what I stated at the beginning of this post, even when it’s the hardest thing in the world to do, a community who’s been transformed by compassion becomes an environment of healing. When our communities see people first and problems second, the rebirth has begun. If we are dying to place a label on something, let’s label it: “Starting Point”.

The kind Rebirth approach holds a belief that compassion is not the opposite of accountability; it commissions compassion into action to make accountability meaningful. People do transform when they are supported and being condemned. They at minimum are shown another side, another possibility to see their lives with new eyes. Ideally, they learn new and healthier ways to regain their power.

Essence and the Truth

The types of social deviance we are witnessing in a world that seems to be crumbling around us is not just the pain of an individual, it is the pain of a society. This further demonstrates the illusion of the maya (that what we see around us is an obscured view and not the true nature). Connection is missing. Empathy is missing. Humanity is missing. But yet, we all want to live in a place of happiness and question what it takes to get there. Imagine a world where deviance and all the other ills and evils of the world are treated as a message or a warning rather than just a verdict.

Kind Rebirths finds another place to honor – in the places where people break away from deviant and harmful actions to others. It’s here in those moments where the old identity crumbles making way for positive evolution. Rebirths often arrive from disruption and disobedience from those with the courage to step outside that box that they were never meant to be in. That said, let’s practice leaning in, listening, holding, and uplifting. Let’s make the journey home, back to self, one that’s safe and supported.

Stay mindful…

Rebirth

*** Have you are someone you love been sexually assaulted or abused? You are not alone. Contact RAINN 24/7 to connect with a real, live person who is trained to help. 1-800-656-4673 or https://rainn.org ***