Letting Go as Freedom…a Kind Rebirth
The concept of letting go is one of the most misunderstood notions in eastern philosophy. Most think of walking away from something, internally shutting down or shutting out from something or someone, or just pretending to no longer care. But that’s not quite what is intended. It’s a little deeper and requires a little more analytical and conceptual thought. In this philosophical perspective, much of which is practiced and brought forth from the Buddhist faith, teaches that letting go is not a detachment from life. Let me be crystal clear – it does not instruct one to abandon life or society or anything commonly associated within the normal parameters of a daily life. What it is, however, is the detachment from the suffering we create from clinging to what no longer aligns with our internal truth. Letting go is to liberate. It is an inward decision to stop the fighting that which is set into motion by change.
Scholars and teachers, like the Buddha, taught that suffering originates from attachment. This does not include an actual attachment to a thing; it speaks to the demand that we make on things and the need for it to remain the same. For example, let’s look at a family planning the perfect vacation to some exotic island. They have everything mapped out from the time they leave their house, to the time they arrive at the airport, all the way to the time they arrive and begin to enjoy their tropical destination. However, suppose their flight is delayed or cancelled, when they get there, it rains for 3 of the 4 days, and he or she comes down with a cold. Because of this, they make themselves believe that the trip is a bust and in effect, they will not have any fun at all. Instead of rolling with the punches, they start to believe that everything bad that happens is a result of some other bad event occurring. Thus, the trip is doomed moving forward.
Here’s another one: a guy meets the girl of his dreams. He is completely infatuated. All of his thoughts are about her and he basically creates his schedule around their potential relationship. However, unbeknownst to him, she has feelings for and is dating someone else. Once he finds out, he is distraught. Then he sinks into a deep depression for a long time and finds it difficult to bounce back from it. As a consequence, it impairs his ability to move on and develop new relationships in the future.
Well, in understanding the concept of letting go, we have accepted that change is an inevitable occurrence and the fact that we desire so badly for the trip to be perfect (and now it’s not), we cause an internal suffering within ourselves. And why we struggle is not because of the rain, or getting sick, or from a late or cancelled flight. It’s also not necessarily the young lady’s fault in the second scenario that he is suffering either. It is likely because he hung on to an idea and a dream that went unfulfilled and he refuses or is unable to let go. So again, most people accept the notion of change but are unwilling to accept the types of changes that occur.
In more severe cases, we are prone to cling to a version of ourselves that we once were, a version we longed to see of ourselves as, or of a version of whom we wanted to become. And when that aspiration is broken and we have not or cannot release that image, we cause ourselves undue suffering. And while often the pain that causes suffering may quickly subside, it’s the suffering from receded pain that lingers because we continue to carry it.
Understanding letting go is a deeply self-loving but uncomfortable act. It’s one that requires that you learn to trust the things that you cannot yet see. Letting go does not reject your past, it is the recognition and acknowledgement that you cannot grow into a new phase of life positively while feeding into outdated stories from your past or from your wants and desires. Letting go is a Kind Rebirth in life that requires liberation. And it begins with awareness where the attachment lives. They reside in the mind of anger and in the mind of fear. They reside in the mind of memories of the past and in the mind of wanting. By not seeking refuge and freedom from these states of mind, we confine ourselves by clinging to restraints prohibiting our ability to discover who we are meant to be. Conversely, a mindful kind rebirth creates the space that opens the door to our soul and finds a new way of seeing life.
Each release is a rebirth. The practice of letting go is based on compassion for yourself and for others around you. It speaks to the impermanence of life (more on Impermanence later). The seasons of life change and transform, but clinging to something in constant motion is suffering. Furthermore, letting go is not giving up nor is it to stop caring. It means to stop you from carrying a load that is way to heavy to carry for any movement into your next stage in life. Trust the intelligence of your own unfolding and becoming.
Letting go is an ending. It is a Kind Rebirth into growth, clarity, compassion, and not alignment with positive intention. Letting go is not a loss and it is not losing. It is a kind return to self.
Stay mindful…
Rebirth
