Mindfulness and the Practice of Staying Humble
I know I haven’t really opened the doors to my life completely yet, but I thought from time to time I would share my experiences in the real world with you all and some of things I see often. The other day I was speaking with a close friend of mine discussing how we as humans tend to overinflate our self-worth. I spend painstaking time to let people know, I am not above or better than anyone else. I’m just a normal human being who like to do normal things. His response, as it always is, don’t belittle yourself. You don’t give yourself enough credit for the things you do and the things you accomplish. I’ve known him for quite some time, so I understand his intention and meaning. From this, and this is not a deflection onto him, I started wondering, do people consider humility as a way of making themselves smaller?
Being humble can easily be confused with the idea of making ourselves or our worth smaller than it actually its. It’s often mistaken for refusal to being able to acknowledge our strengths. In mindfulness, however, a different shape of humility emerges. It isn’t one that seeks to lessen or diminish who we are intrinsically; it’s about seeing ourselves clearly within the larger context of the world’s community.
Mindfulness for me has always been integral in making myself more self-aware, to not think of myself as the center of anything. Things don’t revolve around me and it’s very evident (smile). But being mindful helps me notice how often the mind seeks to compare myself to something else or to someone else. It’s like our worth is measured through achievement and recognition. But mindfulness in humility challenges that narrative. It reminds us that our experiences are meaningful now matter or small or insignificant it may seem. And with that understanding, I realized a different sort of freedom, a new kind of rebirth.
Mindful humility helps us to become more in so many ways. For example, for me, I have become more of an active and attentive listener. As I learned to shift conversation from me interjecting something I may be engrossed with, I try and increase communal communication. Everybody has their own complex inner world and the more I become aware of that fact in that moment, the more my need to compare or judge weakens and welcomes friendly curiosity.
Humility can also mean teachable in some contexts. The more we are able to stay in the present moment, the more we notice learning occur. It’s natural to think or assume we already “know enough”.And when we carry this belief, our attention becomes narrow and restricted, often shutting off not only present moment because we have tuned out, but also losing out on opportunities to gain new information or enjoy new unexpected experiences. Learning to approach with openness and modesty, we can approach uncertainty without damaging our precious ego (more to come on the ego later). This does not make us weak; this makes us levelheaded and settled.
A Kind Rebirth in the context of humility is a return to a perspective. When I think of a ladder, I don’t think of it as a tool to get above someone else or to position myself higher. I use the ladder to learn what’s beyond my line of sight. And with that information, I can use it to help others. While the goal may be to get higher than someone next to you in this analogy, the ladder isn’t the measuring rod. It’s the resource we use to connect disjointed pieces of information.
Mindfulness is a support system of sorts. It provides anchoring and balance. It manages observation over performance. Success is witnessed without undo inflation and mistakes without falling into shame. Despite their differences, they are both part of the dynamic event unfolding. Imagine moving through the world without the need to constantly prove ourselves or our worth. Think of the connection that brings – appreciation over competition and presence over projection. I like the way that sounds personally.
Within our everyday lives, humility may look simple or inconsequential. In truth, admitting when we are wrong, genuinely thanking someone, or listening to another’s perspective are small gestures, but they gather quickly and they travel far. Humility is a practice that can be reborn kindly moment by moment. Returning to awareness, we open our position to be open to learning and connecting with the others we share this existence with. Leave comparisons to scientific research and to apples and oranges. Meanwhile, I’ve found comfort not in letting everyone know what I’ve done or how well I can do it. I find peace in knowing that whatever contribution I make ideally benefits something larger than ourselves.
Stay mindful…
Rebirth
