Never Settle for Borrowed Expectations
I wager a bet that from the moment we were born, the expectations of others for us begin to accumulate. I know our parents want the very best from us. That’s true for most parents anyway. But how many times have you heard our folks say, “I only want the best for you” or “I want you to have what I never had.” But it doesn’t just start and end with them. What about our other influences, our teachers, or our friends? Now we have influences coming from social media and music and movies and I can go on all day. All of these sources, for good or bad, quietly tell us what success and happiness looks like. They tell us how being fulfilled feels. And over time, all of these types of expectations become so familiar to us that we stop asking if they were our dreams and goals, or those of others. Don’t get me wrong, the problem isn’t necessarily that these types of expectations exist. It’s just that we often inherit them or accept them without even a moment to process them.
We spend a lot of time chasing those versions of life that we never asked for. Sometimes we choose professional careers because they may look impressive or they pay a lot of money. Sometimes we choose them to outdo someone else. What’s worse, think of how disappointed we are when our paths don’t resemble the ones we thought we were supposed to have. All of that if you’re not paying attention may lead you down a road of exhaustion. We get too caught up carrying more expectations that belong to someone else.
Instead of trying to find out if we are living up to the acceptable expectations of others, we should consider adopting the question – whose expectations am I carrying? This is the question awareness would have us ask. This type of simple question leads to powerful changes. It draws that line between who you are becoming and who you really want to be. That line separates the values we’ve embraced on our own versus the ones we’ve been handed down.
A Kind Rebirth doesn’t reject all expectation, nor does it ask us to live without responsibility. It is about becoming aware enough to recognize what aligns with us and our values and those we need to proceed with caution with. Just noticing that we may have been living through someone else’s definition is enough of a start to begin the type of dynamic transformation we may be seeking. We have a choice and being aware helps us realize that. Using that type of logic has the energy we need to gain momentum as we look to a life led with greater intention. So, NEVER SETTLE for borrowed expectations. Your life should feel exactly like your own and never someone else’s.
Stay mindful…
Rebirth.
