Not Everything Needs Your Immediate Response
Life is full of circles, so here I am revisiting this topic again. Before, I discussed that not everything needs a response. But today, I want to point out that there are some things that may deserve our attention, but not as immediate as you may think. Our need to respond to everything right away is pervasive. Many of us carry that habit and don’t even realize it. For example, when a message comes in (text message for example – I’m guilty), we feel the full enticement and attraction to reply on the spot. Or, how about when situations occur in front of us, we immediately rush to interpret. We become the commentators of life. In my past, I know myself to be one of those people that when I hear something that just doesn’t sound right or it doesn’t feel right, I am already forming a response in my head of how to correct it.
These, I think again, are natural. Everything I try to point out are natural occurrences that we all face and responses we are all subject to provide. Responding to something inaccurate feels like a duty, our responsibility even. But older wisdom is now setting in. Not everything needs my immediate reaction.
When we are living fully in life, there is a difference between engagement and reactivity. And in the space nudged in between these two actions, there is room for pause or taking a step back to observe. This room, however, goes unused. Moving to quickly to respond often provides an answer from the “surface.” The surface responses are usually comprised of our first emotions and interpretations, or our first assumptions. Too often these assumptions are, I won’t say wrong, but I will say incomplete. Let’s be honest. Haven’t you ever spoken too soon or “spoken out of turn” and offered something that could have been better, more comprehensively thought out first? I have. Sometimes it leads to a little embarrassment, or I may have just thrown more fuel to a fire. But what could have happened had I given myself a moment to breathe? Not to avoid and not to withhold, but just to pause.
Pausing leaves an important space that lets that initial feeling settle just enough for us to see it more clearly. Something said that created that angst within you may be completely off based or conjured up something from your past that you haven’t let go of yet resulting in responding from a place of unhappiness or unfulfillment. We may find ourselves responding off of a sense of urgency that really did not warrant the response (or any response) you provide. Remember, that space can prove useful.
I wouldn’t suggest that you start living a life of disconnectedness. Don’t slow down your ability to think and reflect. Make an intentional act to fortify your ability to not react immediately if you have not allowed yourself to observe astutely before you begin your engagement. Not every moment needs to meet every other moment with immediacy. Some moments are better met with awareness. Ideally, this will carry more clarity, more presence, and more truth when you are ready to respond.
Stay mindful….
Rebirth
