Spiritual Language vs. Emotional Honesty

Whenever we go through something, why is it we tend to reach for a type of language that seems to sound more spiritually mature? How many times does something happen and we instinctually turn to: “Everything happens for a reason” or “It’s all unfolding as it should”? It’s not that there isn’t an element of truth there, but for me, it evades the part of us that actually needs to feel something. Does that make sense? Instead of acknowledging and owning how we feel in that moment, we choose to write it off as part of a larger message. That may be all well, good and true. But perhaps part of the message says we need to know what we are feeling and why in that moment before we send it on its way.

Don’t get me wrong, I am guilty of using those types of terminologies in my past and in my present, if I am being completely honest. They sound mature. They sound grounded and centered. And most times, again, I admit it’s probably true. However, on the other side of that coin lies the truth that these become shortcuts around emotions and true feelings.

There is a difference between what we see as our perspective and what we choose to avoid. Perspective arises from facing the reality of the emotion and our recognition of it. Avoidance, conversely, skips the step and advances us toward a meaning without allowing us time to give the due diligence needed to sit with that emotion, whether it’s sadness, grief, anger, or hurt.

In the Kind Rebirth ecosystem, rebirth isn’t and doesn’t look past a practice that ask us to rise above an emotion. In fact, it provides the space and the room to return to that emotion long enough for us to soak in its meaning as we seek to reframe that emotion. This is true emotional honesty – recognizing and accepting an uncomfortable emotion with the goal of reconstructing it for clearer understanding. One of the most grounded responses I have ever given to someone is saying simply, “I’m hurt,” rather than passing it off or dismissing it immaturely with “Well, it is what it is.”

When we rush to bypass the messages found in the hurt of emotional honesty, the bigger message could be completely overlooked. While the pain hurts (and I know it does. I wouldn’t ask you to stay there any longer than needed.), it’s this awareness of presence that leads to growth. Transformation doesn’t come from the ability to dismiss things easily; it comes from the ability to sit and look in the face of adverse pain and challenge it to learn the meaning. This is witnessing.

I know I’ve said it more than once, but I will say it again: Spiritual language is useful and I do not mean to discourage others to understand the bigger picture. But in that smaller picture, the one that lives inside you, your mind, and your soul, emotional maturity seeks to procure honesty first.

Stay mindful…

Rebirth