The Mindful Art of Responding Rather than Reacting

When we speak from a place of hurt, we are often just defending ourselves from fear or being in an overwhelming situation. While it is not always necessarily done as an intentional act, we become so inundated in the confusion of the moment that we don’t realize that we are just reacting and not taking in the larger picture. As such, we throw seeking to communicate positively and effectively out of the window because we are looking to protect ourselves from a perceived threat of more hurt. In other words, we are lashing out because we want to stay on the offensive. We don’t want to be hurt again, so our fight or flight kicks in and we retaliate. We have to get them before they get us again type of mindset or we want to respond simply to protect our ego and save face. But when we invite mindfulness in as a practice of our everyday life, we are given a choice before we attempt to respond.

If you have been following along, Kind Rebirths has a foundational pillar set in stone with the concept of mindfulness. And embedded in that line of thinking comes another important element, mindful choice. At any moment within our lives, we can choose to go in a different direction rather than following the same paths over and over again. Choosing a new path should render a new or different outcome. We are rebirthing our course, our actions, the idea of a sense of well-being opting for that which provides a chance to open new doors to positive paths and conclusions.

Rebirthing in this fashion is uncomfortable. It’s a change. And we know how we feel about change – we often resist it. But, once we accept the beneficial results, we are able to sit in a peaceful state of mind and process our emotion rather than spewing it out in an act of revenge. In that peaceful state we will find balance and ideally clarity. When clarity emerges, we start to notice closely what is making us feel this way and why. Our awareness heightens and thus impacts the tone and nature of our responses.

For far too long, I was a person built on reaction which to many looked like anger. And for a while, I started to see it as one of my strengths. But in reality, I was wrong. My biggest strength in this rebirth scenario was not letting words fly out of anger but holding them in to prevent worse outcomes. After I started noticing that out of anger only more confusion and commotion materialized. So, choosing a path of non-escalation and non-assumption were kinder acts of mental and emotional responsibility.

As we continue on our individual paths, let us consider stopping the use of relationships as a place to continue conflict and places to unpack pain that we have harbored from the past. Let’s consider them as a ground for mutual growth and understanding. Mindfulness, with its many beneficial uses, cannot resolve problems alone, but there is a transformation that is prevalent as we move through it. Let’s reshape how we relate.

Stay mindful…

Rebirth