The Strength of Being the Quietest Person in the Room
This world celebrates the loud. Equally, it celebrates the fastest, the most confident, and the most popular. But sometimes all that noise can feel extremely uncomfortable. Many times being this way (loud) makes people feel important, celebrated, and more relevant. However, when silence takes over a personality, conversely, it almost feels like we are invisible. For me, I like that feeling. I think some feel that silence equals weakness or unwise. But I have discovered that it is also a form of awareness.
The quietest one, while remaining silent in certain situations, is that person usually surveying the scene and paying attention to detail. When others are speaking and reacting, the quiet observer is noticing people and noticing patterns. They watch body language; they listen to the tone and inflections of conversation and basically check the temperature of the room. This is how I watch moments unfold. And I try and do this long before I take action (and by taking action, I mean, before I respond or react). I don’t consider this passiveness; I consider this part of my personal self-restraint.
When we sit back in silence and others assume we are shy or are introverted, what we are actually doing is assessing and allowing silence to help us create room for understanding. Rushing to move or to speak causes us to rush past significant moments. As we stay quiet just long enough to absorb all the goings-on, we open ourselves up for deeper meaning to emerge. When others are listening to conversations to gather the latest gossip; we are trying to unearth the true meaning behind the words themselves. Doing that long enough similarly allows us to notice what’s not being said, as well. With that in mind, that simple act of restraint and awareness may prohibit us from making an immediate response when it isn’t called for, but more importantly when it’s time, we make responses that are more thoughtful.
Growing up, I spent a lot of time hanging out in large crowds. It was fun. But as I grew older, I found that just being quiet keeps me rooted in myself. Not every situation requires a performance and not every conversation demands a quick-witted or opinionated response. People who stay grounded frequently avoid dominating the conversation or the space. When we are calm, others are drawn to it naturally even when they cannot explain it. When they do speak, I’ve noticed that people tend to listen to what they have to say because it’s counterculture to what they have known. It’s not because they have the loudest voice; it’s because the words they speak come from observation and not impulse. And what they say carries a little bit of weight simply because it is cautious and measured.
This post isn’t meant to present itself as one of the 48 Laws of Power (or the 49th, smile). It’s simply meant to point out that mindfulness is that person. Mindfulness is that quiet person in the room not trying to be flashy or seen or heard. It’s the person that wants to learn something before we insert ourselves into something with the intent on controlling it. That’s a Kind Rebirth and that kind of rebirth isn’t small or passive. It’s poised and it’s powerful.
Stay Mindful….
Rebirth
