Part 2 — What You Reach For When It Hurts

Whenever moments of dread come to fruition and our feeling of impending loss sets in, something within us automatically begins to occur. We naturally start reaching for something, anything, to make sense of it. While it is not obvious at first, there is a path that we start to look for that provides explanation. Sometimes we look for distraction. In others, we look for anything that gives us relief. We begin to look for methods that allow us to carry it differently, anything that may hide our pain. We look for anything to soften those blows. Ultimately, for someone like me, I like to find ways to move as quickly away from it as possible.

Reaching for something to deflect can take on many forms. Personally, I am an overthinker. I will replay situations over and over trying to reimagine the past to create a different present. I look toward how things got to where they are (or are heading) or maybe by assigning meaning without any true proof even before the event has even occurred. At times, I’ve tried to distract myself. If I’m honest, I used to believe writing about it in advance would somehow change the course. I could construct either of these things to take my attention off of what’s in front of me attempting to avoid what’s in the moment. But somehow, even these pathways lead me back to the same places. And none of them served me in a way that was beneficial.

I decided that slowing down was an option that could take me in another direction. Instead of avoidance, I tried facing it honestly. I tried to return to the true nature. And it was here that I began to see that shift. I began to see that space more clearly, the one between feeling and reaction to the feeling. While it is very brief, it does still exist. And in that space, I can pinpoint and point out all the things that I lean on when things get really uncomfortable for me. I can see what I truly trust to move through pain versus the things I habitually return to and land at even without thinking.

Kind Rebirths wants to help you understand that in times of dismay, sadness, and unhappiness, not everything we tend to lean on is wrong. I’d be lying if I said in the past some of those deflections and distractions didn’t help me get through some tough times. They probably served me better by protecting me in the ways that I so desperately needed in that moment. But the more mature me has allowed mindful awareness to see and understand the patterns I have relied on for too long. And with that, I am stronger because I have returned to the me that is grounded in this space. We aren’t here to dissuade you from what helps you cope, but we are here to help you notice what may be more beneficial when your mind is clear enough to see it.

Stay Mindful…

Rebirth