When You’re In a Difficult Moment

How come difficult moments don’t arrive with a warning? How about a warning label? Or anything that tips us off to what’s set to happen next? Well, that answer is simple – that would make life too easy.

Difficult moments arrive at a time that doesn’t allow you to prepare or position yourself in the right frame of mind or in the right mindset. It just shows up – in conversations, in cross tones, or just in a plain ordinary moment when things don’t seem to want to go your way. Then that instinct strikes almost immediately pushing you to respond.

Well, life doesn’t always give a fix and sometimes there is almost no solution or way to exit gracefully. If we give in without a moment’s thought, things can spiral out of control in a second. And the actions that cause those spirals is natural. But as I have said in other posts, every difficult moment doesn’t require an immediate action (or reaction). And consider this: sometimes those moments are asking for recognition.

This type of recognition I am referring to here is asking you to reflect on what you are actually feeling before you attempt to control it or to try and manage it. Maybe giving recognition to what is happening internally before you begin any external motions (like what you want to say or do next). Even that response can seem seeped in an attempt to control the situation, but it’s about allowing clarity to proceed before you do. Because in actuality, when your moves are sudden or offered too quickly, you’re often not responding to what’s happening, you are simply responding to your first reaction to it. Trust me, these are not the same thing.

There’s a difference, a quiet space, between reacting to a moment and meeting it. Reacting is instantaneous and at times abrupt. And as you know, it’s driven by habit, by instinct, by emotion, and by the need to resolve whatever discomfort we are experiencing as soon as possible. To the contrary, when we meet a moment, it requires just enough space to recognize what’s real. From experience, I can tell you that space is small at times. It might only last a couple of seconds, but it’s there and you have to be mindful to feel the shift that this sort of pause can bring.

While the situations that arise out of nowhere themselves may not change, your relationship to them will. That matters more than you may realize. Managing difficult moments well doesn’t mean you will say the right thing, nor will it cause you to always do the right thing every time. But it’s about giving yourself the opportunity to rebirth in the moment by seeing it clearly first. Clarity doesn’t remove the difficulty, but it can alter how we move through them.

Stay Mindful…

Rebirth